i’m a sooth operator

soothsayer
n : someone who makes predictions of the future (usually on the basis of special knowledge) [syn: forecaster, predictor, prognosticator]

I have the ability to see the future.

The only catch is that what I see just stays there and waits till I arrive before it does anything at all. I can slightly change its outcome by making some adjustments, but I don’t recommend that, due to the severe ramifications that are a result of the attempt to alter the inevitable. I will give you a glance into my minds eye so that you to can behold the absolute a-ma-za-zing power I have acquired.

how to fight a girl

If you ever wondered if there were any laws written to explain rules of engagement with your wife, I’m sorry to say that there is not. I can, however, get you close to the truth by creatively adding a few words to a set of rules that were outlined in a movie I saw a few zillion times.

• 1st Rule:  You do not talk about FIGHT with wife CLUB.

• 2nd Rule: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT with wife CLUB.

• 3rd Rule: If you say “stop” or go limp, or tap out, the fight is still not over until she says.

• 4th Rule: Only one right person to a fight. (PS it’s not you)

• 5th Rule: One fight at a time. (Unless she chooses to bring up 345,212 different issues from the past)

• 6th Rule: No amount of gifts, shirts or shoes can save you.

• 7th Rule: Fights will go on as long as she thinks they have to.

• 8th Rule: If this is your first night at FIGHT with wife CLUB, you HAVE to fight.

Acts of Random Kindness… NOT

I took the family to the movies after church today to see “Evan Almighty”.

The movie was great, but this is not a movie review blog. I also must remind myself not to be too creative using bits and pieces from the movie to tell a story as I don’t want to ruin it for anyone that is going to see it soon. If you are reading the poor reviews, ignore them. It’s a very good movie, but for me, surrounded by strange experiences.

the dark side of the force

Did you sympathize with Darth Vader when he was trying to get Luke to see things his way?

Lord Vader was more than a dark, ruthless figure, out to capture, torture, or kill heroes to prevent them from thwarting the Empire. Vader was also a dad. A dad with a son. A son that he thought he knew best about. I like to think that Vader had one of two intentions (one equally as selfish as the other):

1. Ensure his (Vader’s) destiny would be fulfilled

2. To guide Luke to a life that was (in his opinion) equal to, or better than, the one he (Vader) was living

fore the fun of it

My 12 year old son and I played golf together for Fathers Day.

Here is what I was looking forward to teaching him about the game and how it relates to life:

a COGnizant family life

I think that we can agree that we are all part of something greater than what most consider the obvious. Regardless of your beliefs, you can easily admit that you don’t have to look to far in any direction before you find yourself perplexed as to the inner workings of a person, mother nature, or technology.

a dad with a SORRY attitude

How would you describe your parenting style? Do you understand LIFE? Do you have a CLUE? Are you SORRY?

In the board game called LIFE, you spin the wheel of fate! (temptation) Do good deeds to earn LIFE Tiles (shallow) and more money (spoils) down the road! Collect your money and LIFE tiles (false sense of security), and have the highest net worth at the end of the game (pride). Live in the big white house and bask in your own glory (greed). Playing pieces are small, colored plastic automobiles, and each pawn has six holes in the top in which “people pegs” are placed throughout the game as the player “gets married” and has or adopts “children” (that he will ignore the entire game).

faith…kinda, sorta

Think about anyone you know that is in a position of power.

It may be the President, Vice President, or a Chief of Staff. It could be an Accountant, a Doctor, or a Counselor. It may be a Police Officer, Judge, or Jury. It might be a Parent, a Teacher or a Coach. It does not matter who you pick, all of them have one thing in common. They are used to being in charge. They are the ones that have to remember to hold things together in good times and in bad. They are the ones that we count on when the going gets tough and we need more help than we are able to offer ourselves. They are the people with the plan.

women are like dead bugs

Women deal with multiple thoughts and emotions from their past and present all the time, at the same time - and these can’t be easily dismissed.           Jeff Feldhahn “For Men Only”

It is no great revelation that there is more going on in a woman’s mind than in a man’s. I mean, I know that we all have experienced the random, tangent filled, and sporadic array of information that pours from the female mind. I can’t be the only one that gets dizzy when I am trapped in a conversation with my wife and she really gets going at mach speed.

How can we go from: what she is wearing, to what the kids did today, then exactly what bills are due next, while we talk about what we need at the grocery store, followed by what happened at work, and  what we are eating for dinner, after that comes what I need to pick up from the hardware store, and how much gas prices have gone up, leading to what she read in the bible this morning, with the broken garbage disposal, to ……(please tell me its not just me)!