scrapping you children’s childhood
March 4, 2008 at 10:52 pm | In family, father, parenting, son | 3 CommentsI am in the process of changing out my son’s room decor.
You see, he is thirteen now and the Ralph Lauren Denim faux finish that I had on the accent wall and beneath the leather chair rail with the accented belt loops from worn out jeans was no longer appropriate. It made no matter that I hand painted every double stitch line between the 24″ sections of perceived fabric. It was inconsequential that I outlined each outlet and switch plate to look like a pocket on the back of your most comfortable pair of Levi’s. Oh did I forget to mention that I made a loft bed for him, with a desk/workspace underbelly, from scratch out of lumber that I hand selected, sanded, and stained from our local home improvement emporium. Continue reading scrapping you children’s childhood…
that’s what dad’s are faux
November 6, 2007 at 4:46 am | In family, father, love, parenting, son | 6 CommentsName something that you have never done, have never thought about doing, and could care less if you ever wind up doing it before you die…
For my son it was painting.
I must preface this article by saying that there isn’t anything in, or around a house that I can’t build, fix, or enhance from a do-it-yourself, home improvement perspective. I can change out plumbing fixtures, work on electrical fittings, hang drywall, set tile, hang an entry door, install a garage door opener, set up an irrigation system, install roofing, build furniture, and, oh yeah, paint.
I would go as far as to say that I am such a good painter, that you may even consider it a “super power”. I work a cutting brush like Dare Devil works his walking stick; I roll better than The Caped Crusader in his Bat-Mobile Whip; and when the mood hits me, I can faux paint in almost any technique known to both human man or altered beast. I have ragged on, ragged off, stripped, sponged, stamped, and Venetian plastered just to name a few. I move fast and I work clean. If I were this super hero, you would probably call me “The Amazazaing Painter Man”, “The Super Spreader”, or maybe just “Michaelangelo Got Nothing on Me Stud”. I would fly around town in a paint pelted smock and ward off the “White Wall Gang” with the fury of my mighty Corona brushes. All the while having my nemesis (The Evil Dr. Odorless Mineral Spirits) continually attempt to ruin my plans for a world that complements itself like a properly selected accent wall… Continue reading that’s what dad’s are faux…
i spit in your general direction
October 14, 2007 at 4:57 pm | In family, father, parenting, technology | 8 CommentsI will be your best friend for two weeks if you make it through these next two paragraphs without falling into a hypnotic trance of boredom….
On your mark, get set, go…
A “Brain Trust” was the name given to a diverse group of economists, professors, and others who served as advisors to U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt during the early 
period of his tenure. These men played a key role in shaping the policies of the First New Deal. Although they never met together as a group, they each had Roosevelt’s ear.
The term “Brain Trust” was first coined in 1901 and used in a sarcastic sense in reference to the first American general staff of the U.S. President. In 1932, New York Times writer James M. Kiernan revived the term when he applied it to the close group of experts that surrounded presidential candidate Franklin Roosevelt. The term has since been applied in general sense to any close group of advisors.
I wonder where he got that idea… (click insert, hmmmm) Continue reading i spit in your general direction…
with all due respect
September 6, 2007 at 5:17 am | In family, father, parenting, work | 11 CommentsI worked for a pretty big retail organization for more than half of my professional career.
I will try not to give away the name of the company in the attempt to protect your decision to continue shopping there, if need be. So please understand that if I use the words “home improvement”, “orange apron”, or “The Depot”; it is out of coincidence, and in no way am I trying to give away the fact that I worked for Home Depot for 12 plus years in store management.
With that (not) being said…
Have you noticed that the only people that think you can actually find “excellence in customer service” in these stores are the Depot employees that don’t actually have to perform the service? You know what I mean, don’t you? There are a slew of big shots (that don’t wear the orange aprons with their name Sharpied on them), sitting in a huge conference room (with those cool leather chairs with the gold buttons on them) writing a Standard Operating Procedure (that makes The Bible look like a 2 point AR book) for “helping another human being” figure out where the light bulbs are located in the store. Continue reading with all due respect…
drawing conclusions
August 22, 2007 at 4:38 am | In daughter, family, father, parenting, son | 14 CommentsMy father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
—Clarence Budinton Kelland
One of our more recent trips as, as a family, was to one of the Orlando Florida theme parks.
We usually are very careful of what we spend our money on. We try to stick to the essentials. Churros, soda products, smoothie bars, candy, stupid hats that will never be used again, adult beverages, figurines, stuffed animals, ponchos, fake tattoos, and dip-n-dots. (This list is not all inclusive, but is an excellent indication that even a Floridian can fall victim to the tourist traps we have set for you Northerners).
One thing that my wife and I learned a long time ago is that there is not an artist in the Continental United States that is talented enough to capture our image in the form of a caricature. There have been many-a-men to try; but non up to the challenge. We learned this so early in our relationship that we have saved millions of dollars in failed attempts while protecting the confidence of artists across our great divide.
Then we met a man.
I did not know this man. We will call him “Artist X”. He was confident and cunning at his craft. He was proud and boastful. He even bellowed like one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men when I approached him with a challenge… Continue reading drawing conclusions…
the taylor made dad
August 18, 2007 at 4:28 pm | In family, father, parenting, technology | 9 CommentsI have been in the market for some new golf clubs as of late. I am not one of those maniacs that buy and try every new golf club that is supposed to contain the latest and greatest 
technology. Nor am I a guy that believes that a club can make up for what practice has neglected. I am simply a man that understands that I can find some benefit in upgrading the sticks that I purchased 17 years ago.
When I bought my current clubs I didn’t do a tremendous amount of research. I watched T.V. and looked at the clubs being used by the guys that were making all the money on tour. I made my selection based on the success of guys like Fred Couples and never thought twice about it. I bought them right off the rack with matching woods and a putter and started playing the game.
With those clubs, I learned to putt well and chip decent. My iron shots are high and crisp. I am not out driven very often and sometimes they are even in the fairway. I score well (even when I count every stroke) and I understand the meaning of the game and have respect for its required etiquette. My clubs have treated me well, and in return, I have cared for them.
Now as I shop for my new buddies, I find myself experiencing different challenges. Continue reading the taylor made dad…
run for your life
July 30, 2007 at 4:56 am | In family, father, fitness, parenting | 7 CommentsI ran six miles today.
Normally that would not be a huge deal, but yesterday I had long workout session. I ran 4 miles, biked 14 miles, and swam ¼ mile. I say this for two reasons: The first is so that I can help explain my condition today. The second is so that I can show off a bit. I am training for a triathlon in September which has me covering lots of miles by foot, bike, and water. I don’t break any land speed records, but I do finish the races I enter. I have never been first, but I have never been last either.
Back to today.
So after about a mile or so today, I started to get a tingle in my knee. I am assuming it was because all the running over the last 3 weeks and very little rest. What was apparent was that it annoyed me every time I put my left foot on the ground and I knew that I had a whole bunch more of these steps to go. I could not help but focus all of my concentration on preparing for each step and the discomfort that accompanied it.
Then I realized something. Continue reading run for your life…
never take sides against the family…ever
July 22, 2007 at 9:09 pm | In family, father, movies, parenting | 6 CommentsLet me try to explain the difference between intent and impact as it pertains to parenting.
Vito Andolini came to America and became Vito “Don” Corleone. He was a husband, and a business owner on the outside; and a thief, mob boss, and murderer on the inside. If you follow the story from the beginning; which would require you seeing Godfather 2 as well as 1, you will see that Vito was very concerned for his family and their well being. The things that he did, in most cases, had a positive affect on his family (in his eyes). He appeared to be honorable and upstanding as measured by his provisions. The only problem is that most of them were acquired illegally.
Vito was also a dad. Continue reading never take sides against the family…ever…
im a busch league parent
July 21, 2007 at 5:08 am | In family, father, parenting | Leave a CommentMy family and I have always considered ourselves to be theme park connoisseurs.
The Magic Kingdom, Epcot, MGM, Universal, Islands of Adventure, Sea World, Busch Gardens, Cedar Point, etc…
The wife may not look forward to throwing our last few dollars away on $12 soft drinks and $18 ice cream cones; The kids may not love standing in lines with 123,567 sweaty families, all trying to avoid the heat while they wait for the next ride, show, or cardboard pizza substitute; and I definitely don’t appreciate that an automated reminder service has to tell me, over and over again, that “some rides may not be suitable for everyone”, and that no one trusts me to “keep my arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times” and the fact that they think they need to remind me to “take all small children by the hand while exiting the rides”.
We do however like just about everything else. The environment, the excitement, the experiences together.
So…I took my family to Busch Gardens last weekend. Continue reading im a busch league parent…
the dark side of the force
June 23, 2007 at 7:05 am | In daughter, family, father, movies, parenting, son | 3 Comments
Did you sympathize with Darth Vader when he was trying to get Luke to see things his way?
Lord Vader was more than a dark, ruthless figure, out to capture, torture, or kill heroes to prevent them from thwarting the Empire. Vader was also a dad. A dad with a son. A son that he thought he knew best about. I like to think that Vader had one of two intentions (one equally as selfish as the other):
1. Ensure his (Vader’s) destiny would be fulfilled
2. To guide Luke to a life that was (in his opinion) equal to, or better than, the one he (Vader) was living
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