bee careful you dont shoot a bird

The time had come for me, very recently, to have “the talk” with my just about to be 14 year old son.

I strategically worked out a plan to spend some alone time with him and create a comfortable environment to discuss the “birds and the bees”. I had it all figured out in my head and I payed very close attention to the timing and the tone and I layed my opening line on him.

Cool Dad: “So how comfortable would you be if we talked about the “birds and the bees” for a bit?”

Awesome Son: “What’s that”

CD: “Sex stuff”

AS: “Fine…I guess”

CD: “Cool”

And off we go…

how big are your knockers

“Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open.”     —Alexander Graham Bell

I wrote a blog, about a week ago, that started out with a proposition. I stated that anyone who performed a certain act, could be rewarded by me becoming their best friend for 2 weeks. Not just a regular friend, but a BEST FRIEND.

So, it appears that a few hundred people clicked on whatever led them to my article. I will assume that half started to read and decided not to finish, and the other half were successful in achieving the goal.  Of that, half probably didn’t need any extra friends, and a few more just didn’t want ME as one of them. That leaves me with an apparent 25 to 40 new BEST FRIENDS.

But here is the part that I don’t understand…

None of them took advantage of the opportunity.  I was not asked to babysit, cut their grass, pet their cat, or paint their house. Not one person asked me for a lift to the store, a shoulder to cry on, or a pot to tinkle in. No one asked me for help, advice, prayer, money, time, love, understanding, or my opinion.

how’s your credit score

I have received some very nice accolades, as of late, from my new friends in Blogtopia.

I am not sure if there is etiquette to this award giving thing; so I will error on the side of better judgment by paying forward a few complements and giving credit where credit is due. The under named persons / sites have been a part of my daily routine for quite some time now. Sometimes I read and enjoy, sometimes I read and think, and sometimes I read and ignore. The important thing, to me, is that I always read.

I look forward to each of them for different reasons. The comments that I leave for them are sometimes value added statements (in my opinion), and other times they are just nonsense; attempting to be humorous. Sometimes I reply to try to be a blessing; and other times I reply just to let them know that I came to visit. So without further delay, I present to you, some of my newest friends:

PS: I made the awards myself…that’s how much I care…

deal or no deal

Imagine you’re a quarterback for a professional football team.You have been on the same team for years and you have an impressive winning record. You have proven your commitment to the team through hard work, concerned effort, and teamwork. You take time to study the game and you apply your knowledge to each challenge; always learning, always growing. You respect your teammate’s opinions and feelings, so you work on including them in playmaking decisions and try to give everyone a chance to participate.

You find yourself in a huddle during a big game.

The strength and ability of your team is being challenged and you all join together, as usual, and formulate your next play. You assess your current situation, taking your players condition and talents in mind and you call a play. Your team cheers you on in agreement and you all throw your hands in the middle and start the cadence for the “unity cry”…

1..2..3..GO!!!

she’s a brick……….house

I remember being a stone.

There was no rhyme or reason to my edges. Some were curved and some were sharp. There was no motive for them to conform to anything or for the stone to change its shape or size. I was closer to round than it was to square. I didn’t have to match with anything. I was simply a random piece of stone. Rolling along, trying to move along with life.

Life takes a stone and transforms it.

It works at smoothing out the rough edges of your stone. It does it’s best to even out the sides and flatten the top and bottom. You sometimes question why life is messing with you; everything seemed to be pretty darn good as you rolled along. Now you have transformed into something that looks more like a brick.

One day you meet another brick.

RSS for dummies…literally

Here are 5 feeds that you should NEVER rely on RSS to deliver!

I am one of those crazy guys that is suspicious of the intentions of the Internet. I think that there is as much to learn from the World Wide Web as there is to try not to learn. In order for me to explain where I am going with this, I need to insure that you understand what RSS is. If you think this statement is me challenging your smartnestitude, please understand that I just figured it out about a month ago and am assuming that there are others that don’t get it. (I’m betting my wife is one)

So, for your learning enjoyment, please take a brief moment to watch the clip I have provided. Then come back and I’ll put a little hibbity-dibbity on it.

fonzie, chachi, or potsie

What is really “cool” to your family?

I’m pretty sure we all remember the show I’m talking about. It was a television sitcom that presented an idealized version of American life in late 1950s and early 1960s. Lots of it had to do with family, relationships, and identity. Everyone had their favorite character.

Mine was “The Fonz”…

Fonzie usually exhibited a confident demeanor during times of challenge, stress, or annoyance. Fonzie was adored by all of the chicks and respected by his peers. He dressed like an outlaw and walked with a characteristic sangfroid (I looked it up too).  He really seemed to have his stuff together. Fonzie was so “cool” that he could actually make mechanical objects function with a single punch.

Aurther Fonzerelli was the easy pick if you were looking for a roll model as a boy. It was a pleasing picture of what you assume being a man was supposed to look like. He didn’t even have to respond in sentences. All he had to say was “AAAAAYYYYYY” and we got it!