the day i came out of the closet

Name something that you did but wish you didn’t.

Allow me to rephrase that in the attempt to better capture your attention and increase the chances of you reading on.)

Name something that you didn’t realize that you did until after you did it and looked back at how you potentially just damaged your marriage forever. Something that was so stupid and meaningless at the time, but possibly made a statement that it had the power to permanently scar the bond what you have built with your spouse to date. An action that was so poorly planned and so horribly executed that, if you showed it in slow motion, could be viewed as more painful than Britney’s MTV Music Awards extravaganza.

I will paint the picture for you, but I must warn you of a few things…

you want a piece of me?

My last few posts have been a bit on the mushy side. My very last post (and most popular to date according to my stats, go figure) was about “quilting”. It is with this in mind that I implore upon you to please excuse the violent nature of this post as I swing my ever powerful “man-a-tude” pendulum to the opposite extreme.

With the causes and effects of war we are not concerned. Its continued existence is inevitable and its results for good or evil are beyond all human power to avert or change. — George S. Patton, Jr. 1927

Rock Balboa had a battle to fight.

He was challenged by men that didn’t know him; ridiculed by those who knew him less; questioned by those closest to him, doubted by those he respected; and found no support, initially, from those he loved. He had no reason to follow through. He had every reason to cower. He had been supplied any and every excuse he needed to back down.

But he chose to fight anyway.

never take sides against the family…ever

Let me try to explain the difference between intent and impact as it pertains to parenting.

Vito Andolini came to America and became Vito “Don” Corleone. He was a husband, and a business owner on the outside; and a thief, mob boss, and murderer on the inside. If you follow the story from the beginning; which would require you seeing Godfather 2 as well as 1, you will see that Vito was very concerned for his family and their well being. The things that he did, in most cases, had a positive affect on his family (in his eyes). He appeared to be honorable and upstanding as measured by his provisions. The only problem is that most of them were acquired illegally.

Vito was also a dad.

how to fight a girl

If you ever wondered if there were any laws written to explain rules of engagement with your wife, I’m sorry to say that there is not. I can, however, get you close to the truth by creatively adding a few words to a set of rules that were outlined in a movie I saw a few zillion times.

• 1st Rule:  You do not talk about FIGHT with wife CLUB.

• 2nd Rule: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT with wife CLUB.

• 3rd Rule: If you say “stop” or go limp, or tap out, the fight is still not over until she says.

• 4th Rule: Only one right person to a fight. (PS it’s not you)

• 5th Rule: One fight at a time. (Unless she chooses to bring up 345,212 different issues from the past)

• 6th Rule: No amount of gifts, shirts or shoes can save you.

• 7th Rule: Fights will go on as long as she thinks they have to.

• 8th Rule: If this is your first night at FIGHT with wife CLUB, you HAVE to fight.

Acts of Random Kindness… NOT

I took the family to the movies after church today to see “Evan Almighty”.

The movie was great, but this is not a movie review blog. I also must remind myself not to be too creative using bits and pieces from the movie to tell a story as I don’t want to ruin it for anyone that is going to see it soon. If you are reading the poor reviews, ignore them. It’s a very good movie, but for me, surrounded by strange experiences.

the dark side of the force

Did you sympathize with Darth Vader when he was trying to get Luke to see things his way?

Lord Vader was more than a dark, ruthless figure, out to capture, torture, or kill heroes to prevent them from thwarting the Empire. Vader was also a dad. A dad with a son. A son that he thought he knew best about. I like to think that Vader had one of two intentions (one equally as selfish as the other):

1. Ensure his (Vader’s) destiny would be fulfilled

2. To guide Luke to a life that was (in his opinion) equal to, or better than, the one he (Vader) was living

the symbiote dad

Lessons of humility from the web-slinger.

Spiderman 3 introduced a symbiotic being from somewhere unexplained. I will give a readers digest version of what that is for those that are unfamiliar while trying not to offend some of the spidey-fanatics.