bee careful you dont shoot a bird
June 24, 2008 at 7:16 pm | In parenting, son | 5 CommentsThe time had come for me, very recently, to have “the talk” with my just about to be 14 year old son.
I strategically worked out a plan to spend some alone time with him and create a comfortable environment to discuss the “birds and the bees”. I had it all figured out in my head and I payed very close attention to the 
timing and the tone and I layed my opening line on him.
Cool Dad: “So how comfortable would you be if we talked about the “birds and the bees” for a bit?”
Awesome Son: “What’s that”
CD: “Sex stuff”
AS: “Fine…I guess”
CD: “Cool”
And off we go… Continue reading bee careful you dont shoot a bird…
how to take care of your beaver
June 18, 2008 at 4:41 pm | In daughter, parenting, son | 3 CommentsLet us be perfectly honest with each other…
Our children do not act the same in our absence as they do in our presence. They have their home behavior and their away behavior. There are certain things that they will try where you cannot see them that they would never dare within an eye-shot of us. I am not telling you that our children are all criminals when we are not watching, but they are most definitely more daring and mischievous. It is not a flaw in their psyche. It is simply hard wired into their existence. Testing limits and boundaries is a part of growing up. Putting control valves on their feelings and emotions is another.
My example:
I am not sure when exactly I started using foul language as a child, I just did. Continue reading how to take care of your beaver…
scrapping you children’s childhood
March 4, 2008 at 10:52 pm | In family, father, parenting, son | 3 CommentsI am in the process of changing out my son’s room decor.
You see, he is thirteen now and the Ralph Lauren Denim faux finish that I had on the accent wall and beneath the leather chair rail with the accented belt loops from worn out jeans was no longer appropriate. It made no matter that I hand painted every double stitch line between the 24″ sections of perceived fabric. It was inconsequential that I outlined each outlet and switch plate to look like a pocket on the back of your most comfortable pair of Levi’s. Oh did I forget to mention that I made a loft bed for him, with a desk/workspace underbelly, from scratch out of lumber that I hand selected, sanded, and stained from our local home improvement emporium. Continue reading scrapping you children’s childhood…
that’s what dad’s are faux
November 6, 2007 at 4:46 am | In family, father, love, parenting, son | 6 CommentsName something that you have never done, have never thought about doing, and could care less if you ever wind up doing it before you die…
For my son it was painting.
I must preface this article by saying that there isn’t anything in, or around a house that I can’t build, fix, or enhance from a do-it-yourself, home improvement perspective. I can change out plumbing fixtures, work on electrical fittings, hang drywall, set tile, hang an entry door, install a garage door opener, set up an irrigation system, install roofing, build furniture, and, oh yeah, paint.
I would go as far as to say that I am such a good painter, that you may even consider it a “super power”. I work a cutting brush like Dare Devil works his walking stick; I roll better than The Caped Crusader in his Bat-Mobile Whip; and when the mood hits me, I can faux paint in almost any technique known to both human man or altered beast. I have ragged on, ragged off, stripped, sponged, stamped, and Venetian plastered just to name a few. I move fast and I work clean. If I were this super hero, you would probably call me “The Amazazaing Painter Man”, “The Super Spreader”, or maybe just “Michaelangelo Got Nothing on Me Stud”. I would fly around town in a paint pelted smock and ward off the “White Wall Gang” with the fury of my mighty Corona brushes. All the while having my nemesis (The Evil Dr. Odorless Mineral Spirits) continually attempt to ruin my plans for a world that complements itself like a properly selected accent wall… Continue reading that’s what dad’s are faux…
drawing conclusions
August 22, 2007 at 4:38 am | In daughter, family, father, parenting, son | 14 CommentsMy father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
—Clarence Budinton Kelland
One of our more recent trips as, as a family, was to one of the Orlando Florida theme parks.
We usually are very careful of what we spend our money on. We try to stick to the essentials. Churros, soda products, smoothie bars, candy, stupid hats that will never be used again, adult beverages, figurines, stuffed animals, ponchos, fake tattoos, and dip-n-dots. (This list is not all inclusive, but is an excellent indication that even a Floridian can fall victim to the tourist traps we have set for you Northerners).
One thing that my wife and I learned a long time ago is that there is not an artist in the Continental United States that is talented enough to capture our image in the form of a caricature. There have been many-a-men to try; but non up to the challenge. We learned this so early in our relationship that we have saved millions of dollars in failed attempts while protecting the confidence of artists across our great divide.
Then we met a man.
I did not know this man. We will call him “Artist X”. He was confident and cunning at his craft. He was proud and boastful. He even bellowed like one of Robin Hood’s Merry Men when I approached him with a challenge… Continue reading drawing conclusions…
i’m a sooth operator
June 29, 2007 at 3:48 am | In daughter, parenting, son, technology | 3 Commentssoothsayer
n : someone who makes predictions of the future (usually on the basis of special knowledge) [syn: forecaster, predictor, prognosticator]
I have the ability to see the future.
The only catch is that what I see just stays there and waits till I arrive before it does anything at all. I can slightly change its outcome by making some adjustments, but I don’t recommend that, due to the severe ramifications that are a result of the attempt to alter the inevitable. I will give you a glance into my minds eye so that you to can behold the absolute a-ma-za-zing power I have acquired.
the dark side of the force
June 23, 2007 at 7:05 am | In daughter, family, father, movies, parenting, son | 3 Comments
Did you sympathize with Darth Vader when he was trying to get Luke to see things his way?
Lord Vader was more than a dark, ruthless figure, out to capture, torture, or kill heroes to prevent them from thwarting the Empire. Vader was also a dad. A dad with a son. A son that he thought he knew best about. I like to think that Vader had one of two intentions (one equally as selfish as the other):
1. Ensure his (Vader’s) destiny would be fulfilled
2. To guide Luke to a life that was (in his opinion) equal to, or better than, the one he (Vader) was living
fore the fun of it
June 19, 2007 at 1:56 am | In family, father, fitness, parenting, son | 4 CommentsMy 12 year old son and I played golf together for Fathers Day.
Here is what I was looking forward to teaching him about the game and how it relates to life:
a dad with a SORRY attitude
June 9, 2007 at 11:53 am | In daughter, family, father, parenting, son | 5 CommentsHow would you describe your parenting style? Do you understand LIFE? Do you have a CLUE? Are you SORRY?
In the board game called LIFE, you spin the wheel of fate! (temptation) Do good deeds to earn LIFE Tiles (shallow) and more money (spoils) down the road! Collect your money and LIFE tiles (false sense of security), and have the highest net worth at the end of the game (pride). Live in the big white house and bask in your own glory (greed). Playing pieces are small, colored plastic automobiles, and each pawn has six holes in the top in which “people pegs” are placed throughout the game as the player “gets married” and has or adopts “children” (that he will ignore the entire game).
RSS for dummies…literally
May 22, 2007 at 5:58 am | In daughter, family, father, fitness, friend, husband, marriage, parenting, son, spirituality, technology, wife | 3 CommentsHere are 5 feeds that you should NEVER rely on RSS to deliver!
I am one of those crazy guys that is suspicious of the intentions of the Internet. I think that there is as much to learn from the World Wide Web as there is to try not to learn. In order for me to explain where I am going with this, I need to insure that you understand what RSS is. If you think this statement is me challenging your smartnestitude, please understand that I just figured it out about a month ago and am assuming that there are others that don’t get it. (I’m betting my wife is one)
So, for your learning enjoyment, please take a brief moment to watch the clip I have provided. Then come back and I’ll put a little hibbity-dibbity on it.
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2 cents...
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