the day i came out of the closet

Name something that you did but wish you didn’t.

Allow me to rephrase that in the attempt to better capture your attention and increase the chances of you reading on.)

Name something that you didn’t realize that you did until after you did it and looked back at how you potentially just damaged your marriage forever. Something that was so stupid and meaningless at the time, but possibly made a statement that it had the power to permanently scar the bond what you have built with your spouse to date. An action that was so poorly planned and so horribly executed that, if you showed it in slow motion, could be viewed as more painful than Britney’s MTV Music Awards extravaganza.

I will paint the picture for you, but I must warn you of a few things…

a greater tolerance for chaos

“Every time I have the opportunity to sin, I have the opportunity to bear fruit of the spirit as well. In a momentary flash; I can choose self-control or allow my eyes to wander. I can choose kindness or let a bit of vindictiveness leak out. What determines which one wins? In my life it’s largely the level of incubation.” 

                       —Ron Martoia , morph! ,  2003

Hmmmm…

I read this paragraph in Ron’s book a few years ago and again, a few days ago. Then I did my favorite thing I do when I come across something I want to absorb for a while; I went for a run. A “business as usual” run except I turn down my headphones to a faint mumble (for background filler only), and allow my kooky brain to grind up what I have learned and make it relevant enough to apply to something that I am going through at the moment.

american idad

Occasionally, I find myself Dad watching.

I look at Dad’s interacting with their kids (or not) and judge their performance. Depending on the kind of day I am having, I can look at the same situation and interpret it in different ways. I try to take everything that is apparent into consideration when forming my opinion. Then there are the unknown factors that play a roll as well. If you are lucky enough to sit next to them in a restaurant or movie, as opposed to a simple breeze by in the mall, you can pretty much figure out the kind of parent they are, regardless of the unknown.

There will be people that will argue the “unknown” factor and tell me “I just don’t understand”. Others will give me a “shame on you for judging”, but here it goes anyway.

Example (the short version):

I’m in a restaurant / a family sits next to me / little girl has no “quiet voice” / Mom yells at her 345,681 times to “be quiet” / girl says “no” half of those times / the other half she just ignores her Mom / the girl orders everything, eats nothing /  the Dad sits on his lazy butt and stuffs his face with his Grand Slam / the girl throws things at her parents / everyone in the restaurant wishes them dead / except of course me, being a Christian and all.

you want a piece of me?

My last few posts have been a bit on the mushy side. My very last post (and most popular to date according to my stats, go figure) was about “quilting”. It is with this in mind that I implore upon you to please excuse the violent nature of this post as I swing my ever powerful “man-a-tude” pendulum to the opposite extreme.

With the causes and effects of war we are not concerned. Its continued existence is inevitable and its results for good or evil are beyond all human power to avert or change. — George S. Patton, Jr. 1927

Rock Balboa had a battle to fight.

He was challenged by men that didn’t know him; ridiculed by those who knew him less; questioned by those closest to him, doubted by those he respected; and found no support, initially, from those he loved. He had no reason to follow through. He had every reason to cower. He had been supplied any and every excuse he needed to back down.

But he chose to fight anyway.

the right of way

In most cases, it is seems to make more sense to make a wrong decision than it is to make a right one.

I think of yellow street lights. It is much easier to keep your foot on the pedal that it’s on; rather than to move it to another one. It seems simpler to press down on the pedal that your foot is already attached to and accelerate your vehicle. It appears harmless to zip through the intersection and press on to your destination before any of those other cars get in your way.

But it’s wrong, isn’t it?

Everyone knows that the yellow light really means: “Hey, you need to get ready to stop, so that we can get ready to get on with plan for the rest of the folks out here.” The cool part is that you know that the rule is there for a reason and you can trust that there is a good chance that nothing bad will come of you following the rules. You will be safe, limit the chances of receiving a citation, and the road rage warriors will have to continue to comb the earth for a different victim to unleash the hideous scent that comes from them showing you what is under their striped tail.

faith…kinda, sorta

Think about anyone you know that is in a position of power.

It may be the President, Vice President, or a Chief of Staff. It could be an Accountant, a Doctor, or a Counselor. It may be a Police Officer, Judge, or Jury. It might be a Parent, a Teacher or a Coach. It does not matter who you pick, all of them have one thing in common. They are used to being in charge. They are the ones that have to remember to hold things together in good times and in bad. They are the ones that we count on when the going gets tough and we need more help than we are able to offer ourselves. They are the people with the plan.

be on the lookout for mailboxes

How to help formulate a game-plan for your kids lives that is realistic and attainable.

I went for a run/bike/swim today. (in that order) My goals were realistic and attainable as I frequently cover the same ground. I was going to run 4 miles, bike 12, and swim for 1/4 mile. As I got started, I traveled a familiar path and ran at a speed that seemed comfortable to me. About 2 minutes into the run I got a bit lazy. My brain started focus on all of the things that were in my way to get to the finish-line.

the symbiote dad

Lessons of humility from the web-slinger.

Spiderman 3 introduced a symbiotic being from somewhere unexplained. I will give a readers digest version of what that is for those that are unfamiliar while trying not to offend some of the spidey-fanatics.

tone deaf

I spent quite some time trying to come up with a catchy name, title, look and feel to this, my first blog page. I somehow felt that its success (whatever that means) would rely on the tone (please refer to the title reference) of the initial visit of whomever mysteriously stumbled across my page. I was concerned with the “catchy” heading and the “interesting feel” of the layout as well as the deep and intelligent first posting. I was going over all of the people that I assumed would visit, at my request, and all of the people that they would recommend to visit due to its incredible insight and ground breaking topics of discussion. I was also wondering when the last time the Pulitzer was given to an Italian?

So I started writing my first post… <enter>my son…

“Hey Dad what’s up”? (reads screen) “Who wrote that stuff”?

Then I realized that all that “goo” wasn’t me at all. It had nothing to do with what my intentions are for this blog thing. Come to think of it, I have little or no expectations for this as it is a new experience for me all together. I can, however, tell you what I hope…

I hope to be a help to someone. I hope to encourage. I hope to shed some light on anything! I have been told, more than once, so I assume its true, that I have a pretty cool way of speaking to people about situations they are in that I am familiar with. I enjoy sharing things about who I am that prove to be beneficial to others that are open to suggestions and in similar situations.

So here’s the deal…

I’m going to randomly speak about being a husband to my wife for almost 14 years (Aug 21, 1993), a father to my children (boy 12 girl 8), a good neighbor, and a friend. I may speak about work, fitness, bowling (don’t laugh), books, or movies, but probably how they relate to my family. I also like to speak from the viewpoint of a guy and I will probably be more funny than deep.

Cause that’s how I roll…