my wife has decided to leave me

 …and I will help her pack!

My wife was invited to go on a 5 day vacation with her Mother and Sister to go to visit her Niece that lives a few thousand miles away. We talked about it that night and discussed: when it was, what it would entail, and how long it would be for. Financially, it would be a strain to take the family, so the conversation was centered on the understanding that it could only be her that goes, leaving the rest of us behind.

I am pretty big on providing my wife with happy things, but I sometimes act to quick and miss the bigger opportunity to show my desire for her contentment. I said “Yes” too quickly, like this:

“That will be fine; I can handle things while you are gone. Have fun.”

At a “guy glance” that seemed like a great answer. I mean, after all, that would be the answer I would look for if I were planning a golf trip with a few guys or planning a business outing that would cover a few days.

I couldn’t help but notice that although we had decided on “making it happen” that there was still a little uncertain vibe in the air. You know the vibe:

“Honey is there something wrong”?    “No”

“Honey is there something wrong”?    “No”

“Honey is there something wrong?”   “Well………..”

Before it got to that point I did some quick thinking. I remembered what Rosie Perez said in “White Men Can’t Jump”. That when she (Rosie) said she was thirsty, she didn’t want the glass of water. She didn’t want him (Woody) to fix the problem; she wanted him to empathize with her experience of dry-mouthedness!

 As much as it sounds like I am poking fun, there are very few movie lines that are a better road-map into a woman’s mind.

What my wife was searching for was “ultimate permission” from her family. What she was searching for was validation. She was in need of reassurance that it was OK to give her “servants heart” a rest and do something that was just for HER. That a few days off was not selfish. That she had worked hard enough to deserve it. Now, please do not misread this as me saying that she must ask me what she can and can’t do. You have to understand that we know that we are partners in this “family thing” and what one of us does greatly affects the other.

So I rephrased myself:

“Honey, I SO appreciate what you do for us every day. Your duties at home are important and seem to be never-ending, that must be exhausting for you. I hope you decide to go on this trip. To taking care of your duties while you are gone is the least I can do to show you my gratitude and love. I want you to have this time to yourself and have as much fun as you can. I will miss you everyday until you return”.

For the record, you will get a pretty good hug after something like that.

So my wife has decided to leave me; but I’m betting she will be back.


2 Responses to my wife has decided to leave me

  1. raincoaster says:

    She’s leaving you because you told everybody she farts.

  2. Charlie says:

    i think you’re on to something….

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