i’m a sooth operator

n : someone who makes predictions of the future (usually on the basis of special knowledge) [syn: forecaster, predictor, prognosticator]

I have the ability to see the future.

The only catch is that what I see just stays there and waits till I arrive before it does anything at all. I can slightly change its outcome by making some adjustments, but I don’t recommend that, due to the severe ramifications that are a result of the attempt to alter the inevitable. I will give you a glance into my minds eye so that you to can behold the absolute a-ma-za-zing power I have acquired.

Let me set the stage.

ShazamI get in the car at 8:00 in the AM, program my destination in my GPS, and SHAZAM! It shows me that I will be there at 8:55 in the AM. I have witnessed the FUTURE, right in front of my eyes. I know, at that very moment, where I will be 55 min later!

Thanks to my GPS, i am now a fortune telling traveler. Kinda like a Gypsy, I guess.

This is a great fortune telling tool when I have left early enough to get to my destination on time. It is a constant reminder that I have set myself up to succeed by planning ahead. So I spend my ride time thinking, praying, singing, or enjoying the views. Life is grand and it is in no rush. There is no emergency. I love life for the goodness it provides, at these times.


This device stinks when you don’t do your part and get going on time. Then that darn thing does nothing but remind you that your future is dim. You witness your future doom. You are going to be late. You are going to be a disappointment or a burden to someone.

oopsSometimes you are tempted to speed up to make up time. If you do, you can actually see the future change in front of your eyes. Time starts to melt off your arrival time. This is risky and illegal and it can cost you big money ($258 to be exact) and wind up taking up more and more time while making you even later than you already expected to be.

(Thank you Officer Maverick)

There is nothing you can legally do to change the event, yet it still consumes you. You can’t think of anything else but your mistake, you are to consumed to pray, you’re not in the mood to sing, and who cares about the flippin’ view. I’M GOING TO BE LATE!

So I know my story, but what about my children’s’? I ask myself:

1.       Have you seen into your children’s future?

2.      What is their time of “arrival” for their life goals?

3.      Are you helping to get them started on time?

4.      Do they know the consequences for the shortcuts?

5.      Are there enough margins built in to their journey plan to allow for thinking, praying, singing, enjoying the views, and still get to their destination in time?

GPSThe life of a child is a free willed journey that requires the guidance of a DPS. (Deliberate Parenting System). It is up to you to make sure that you help them enjoy their life journey. Help them understand that the GPS of their aspirational (did I just make up a word?) future is not the “All Seeing OZ”, but a mere reflection of their decisions. A tool to help them get better and more efficient at what they do. The GPS is there to learn from, not to rely on.

If you have not started, now is as good a time as any, for a Father, to start guiding.

I hope that made sense to someone. Something hit me like a ton of bricks while I was on the road today. I may not have processed it long enough to explain it well. I get over excited at times. Sue me.

(Just kidding about the sue me part)



3 Responses to i’m a sooth operator

  1. Alasdair says:

    I hate GPS! It’s the devils work :shock:

    As for providing guidance, if we can get our kids from a to b with the minimum of carnage and without getting them stuck in ford (a la GPS!) somewhere then I think we can all claim ‘job’s a goodun! More to the point, if they can make their way successfully in the world without ‘GPS’ once we’ve papped them out – ahem, I mean set them free, then that’s good enough for me :)

  2. Charles Arcario says:

    I just tossed my GPS out the window of my car. Its trident and forked tongue always had me curious.

  3. Scott says:

    I feel for you brother. That is a definate way for your mood and outlook to stray.

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