being a husband is not a “big deal”
October 3, 2007 16 Comments
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. —Ephesians 5:25
I have mentioned this verse in a few different blogs, but I regret (‘regret’ is a whole other blog) that I misunderstood its meaning early in my relationship with my wife. I think that I missed opportunities to practice this with regularity because I always waited for some extraordinary situation to apply my “man powers” to, so that I could save the day in true “Super-Husband” fashion. After all, Christ DIED for the church; so I was prepared to do the same for my wife. As a result, I always kept my ears open for signs of a natural disaster, terrorist attacks, or global thermo nuclear war. I was ready for the worst, and I knew I would protect my wife, at any cost. I was looking to make a “big deal” out of my efforts, and I was WAITING for it.
But how often will I get an opportunity to prove my comittment at that level?
How often will I be able to express the sacrificial love that I have for her? How will I know if that is what she was expecting (with me being dead, and all)? What if God was talking about something a bit different? What if he was challenging us to practice Christs love more frequently in circumstances of seemingly smaller proportions?
Some husbands would say that they would “take a bullet for their wives”, but they need to be begged to “take out the trash”.
Some husbands say they would jump in front of a train to save their wives, but they are rarely seen jumping off the couch to help with dinner or the laundry. Some husbands say they would fight to the death to protect their bride, but the only fight they initiate is the one caused by their inability to communicate effectively.
Don’t get me wrong, our women DO expect us to swing in on a vine, hair (if it’s still available) flowing in the wind, screaming our battle cry, and swooping them off of their feet to carry them to safety. Christ, however had a different idea with his great and perfect example of love, commitment, and sacrifice. There are many titles for Jesus, but if he preferred one, it may have been Servant of the Lord. Mark 10:45 said “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many,” and Philippians 2:7-8, “He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave. He humbled Himself by being obedient, even to death.”
So here is the challenge…
Understand that Gods intention for your “Wife/Helper” was not to be a slave, but a partner. He made a husband and a wife to be interdependent and equal in value, while remaining very different in roles. Check out 1 Corinthians 11:11 if you don’t believe me. So that means, pick up your clothes, help with the dishes, participate in the “undesirable” tasks around the house to show your support, understanding, and appreciation for what she brings to your family.
You want to know a few more things that Christ did for the church?
He prayed with them when they had to make difficult decisions. He considered their needs, values, preferences, and current situations. He listened to understand, as opposed to listening to respond. And he gave the church foot massages when they had a difficult day and needed to relax. (I made up that one). Christ didn’t just walk around until it was time to die for everyone. He tried to give everyone a jump start to make sure that we could have the opportunity to be people worth dying for.
We need to glorify God and His sacrifice, by showing our understanding and appreciation for His perfect and precious gifts for us. The greatest being His Son, that gave His body so that we could have eternal life…
…and the second is a wife that makes the thought of living for eternity actually sound appealing.