being a husband is not a “big deal”

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her.   —Ephesians 5:25

I have mentioned this verse in a few different blogs, but I regret (‘regret’ is a whole other blog) that I misunderstood its meaning early in my relationship with my wife. I think that I missed opportunities to practice this with regularity because I always waited for some extraordinary situation to apply my “man powers” to, so that I could save the day in true “Super-Husband” fashion. After all, Christ DIED for the church; so I was prepared to do the same for my wife. As a result, I always kept my ears open for signs of a natural disaster, terrorist attacks, or global thermo nuclear war. I was ready for the worst, and I knew I would protect my wife, at any cost. I was looking to make a “big deal” out of my efforts, and I was WAITING for it.

incredibleBut how often will I get an opportunity to prove my comittment at that level?

How often will I be able to express the sacrificial love that I have for her? How will I know if that is what she was expecting (with me being dead, and all)? What if God was talking about something a bit different? What if he was challenging us to practice Christs love more frequently in circumstances of seemingly smaller proportions?

Some husbands would say that they would “take a bullet for their wives”, but they need to be begged to “take out the trash”.

Some husbands say they would jump in front of a train to save their wives, but they are rarely seen jumping off the couch to help with dinner or the laundry. Some husbands say they would fight to the death to protect their bride, but the only fight they initiate is the one caused by their inability to communicate effectively.

Don’t get me wrong, our women DO expect us to swing in on a vine, hair (if it’s still available) flowing in the wind, screaming our battle cry, and swooping them off of their feet to carry them to safety. Christ, however had a different idea with his great and perfect example of love, commitment, and sacrifice. There are many titles for Jesus, but if he preferred one, it may have been Servant of the Lord. Mark 10:45 said “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many,” and Philippians 2:7-8, “He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave. He humbled Himself by being obedient, even to death.”

So here is the challenge…

Understand that Gods intention for your “Wife/Helper” was not to be a slave, but a partner. He made a husband and a wife to be interdependent and equal in value, while remaining very different in roles. Check out 1 Corinthians 11:11 if you don’t believe me. So that means, pick up your clothes, help with the dishes, participate in the “undesirable” tasks around the house to show your support, understanding, and appreciation for what she brings to your family.

You want to know a few more things that Christ did for the church?

super dadHe prayed with them when they had to make difficult decisions. He considered their needs, values, preferences, and current situations. He listened to understand, as opposed to listening to respond. And he gave the church foot massages when they had a difficult day and needed to relax. (I made up that one). Christ didn’t just walk around until it was time to die for everyone. He tried to give everyone a jump start to make sure that we could have the opportunity to be people worth dying for.

We need to glorify God and His sacrifice, by showing our understanding and appreciation for His perfect and precious gifts for us. The greatest being His Son, that gave His body so that we could have eternal life…

…and the second is a wife that makes the thought of living for eternity actually sound appealing.


16 Responses to being a husband is not a “big deal”

  1. traci says:

    Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. You have quite a way with words.

  2. Charlie says:

    thank you deeply…I just call ’em like I see ’em.

  3. Chantal says:

    Hey there, Charlie…..I like how you call ’em. Thanks for bringing His love a little closer to me. Through your writing, I can just picture Jesus being in the moment with those He loved, being truly present, listening to respond rather than listening to react (that’s one of my most favourite expressions of yours that I try to apply, with my children especially).
    And the foot massage thing wasn’t too far off the mark….after all, He did wash feet to show He came to serve & not be served….

    The love you have for your wife always shines through in your writing, Charlie. Shine on!

  4. Shirley says:

    Love this post. Beautifully written, funny, and…true!

    Shirley Buxton

  5. Hawk says:

    :-) Good stuff as always! Running late for an appointment on this end!


  6. Anita Marie says:

    Hey, I’ve got exactly the right husband- good father, good man, good at housework AND if we weren’t married I’d still think he’s an awesome guy.

    Don’t think I don’t thank God for him like on a daily basis.

    Plus he makes Mcdonald’s runs when he knows I’m writing and can’t be bothered to eat let alone cook.


  7. Mike Ash says:

    love the new look, buddy…fresh

  8. jazmine9 says:

    A wonderful post, Charlie. I just read an excellent book on this same type of sacrificing love that Christ calls the husband to. It is called Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. A really great read for men and women alike. It is historical fiction based on the book of Hosea in the Bible and gives a good account for the patience and love a man can have for his wife.

    Love your site. You are a great writer who speaks from truth from the heart. It is certainly evident in your writing. I’ve been here a few times via Hawks Place and I also love the new look.
    Have a great week!

  9. Dave says:

    The longer I am married the more I realize what you are saying is true. God loves us a whole lot every day, and tells us so, if we will just listen. Our wives would take just half that much and would say we are the best husbands in the world.

    Keep up the great work of reminding us about the areas of our lives we forget to feed.


  10. Mike Ash says:

    this format doesn’t let me read your blog from my phone…you should change it…:)

  11. myderbe says:

    Good post!

    I’m blessed to have a super-husband who takes out the trash and gives foot massages when I need them, plus I know he’d die for me if it were ever necessary — though I sure hope it’s not because life wouldn’t be nearly as sweet without him by my side.

    I’m sure your wife feels the same way.

  12. Charlie says:

    Chantal: I should get you to proof read my blogs before I post them…I wish I would have thought of the foot washing angle…

    Shirley: Thank you. I dig your site too…Sorry I didn’t reply to your request a few weeks ago…I promise I had a good reason.

    Hawk: Go Hawk Go!

    AM: Can you have him get me a Filet-O-Fish Meal (super size) with a Diet Coke and a cheeseburger on the side; the next time he rolls out?

    Mike: Thanks

    Jaz: Thanks for the props! Please come by often. Tell Hawk I said “Howdy”.

    Dave: Exactly

    Mike: Get a real phone.

    MyDerbe: I’m not sure that my wife feels the same way about your husband. But I’m sure he is a great guy….(lol)

  13. Anita Marie says:

    He’ll laugh at the Diet Coke request…but sure, it’s on me…or Luis… :-)

  14. myderbe says:

    ha ha ha very funny. Guess I need a proofreader for my comments. :)

  15. neillrogers says:

    John 13:1-20 – you didn’t make it up. Great advice on what IMHO Christ wants us to be as husbands. Thank you.

  16. Mom says:

    I am proud of the husband you are and even though it was hard teaching you how to do all those helpful things, I guess you really learned something, especially picking up your clothes. I love you, Mom

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