bee careful you dont shoot a bird

The time had come for me, very recently, to have “the talk” with my just about to be 14 year old son.

I strategically worked out a plan to spend some alone time with him and create a comfortable environment to discuss the “birds and the bees”. I had it all figured out in my head and I payed very close attention to the timing and the tone and I layed my opening line on him.

Cool Dad: “So how comfortable would you be if we talked about the “birds and the bees” for a bit?”

Awesome Son: “What’s that”

CD: “Sex stuff”

AS: “Fine…I guess”

CD: “Cool”

And off we go…

(lines)—– The conversation went very well and we were able to talk about a bunch of stuff that was relevant to his age and level of understanding. He didn’t exactly ask a whole bunch of questions, but it was apparent that he was listening. (a great feat for any leader of a hungry pupil) There were no weird looks or uncomfortable stares. There wasn’t a bunch of giggling or joking around, but I think we were still able to have a good time with it. We discussed a bunch of stuff that will never make it to this blog, because I don’t roll like that.

After we were pretty much wrapped up, I asked him if he understood what I was talking about. He responded very truthfully and rather quickly by saying that he already knew about half of the stuff that we covered. That gave me a perfect opportunity to reiterate that the main reason that we were talking was to bring to light the OTHER half of the things he heard. The things that he did not have the experience to understand. The stuff that is too important to leave in the hands of our television, the Internet, his other inexperienced friends, or really good guessing. The stuff that makes you say, “Gee, if I only, I wish I would have, or I had no idea”! —–(lines)

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you in trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”           -Mark Twain

So I gave him some things that he could count on from me.

Unconditional love, care, understanding, wisdom, partnership, and trust. I was sure to let him know that what he was going through in his brain(s) is a normal occurrence for ever male being on the planet. His feelings, emotions, and pattern of thinking were validated and acceptable, but it is imperative that he takes ownership in understanding the possible repercussions of his actions.

This is the kinda thing that can be very bad for you if it is not understood or even a bit feared.

I made myself available for him in the future and let him know that he can continue to count on me butting in to his life to challenge him to make smart decisions. I also pointed out some other people in our lives that he can trust if there ever comes a time when he feels like there is something that he would rather not tell me, just yet.

So I got to thinking a bit about how this reminds me of some of the people that I love that do life without God.

They take the half that they think they know about Him and hang their hat on the absurdity of the idea of an omnipotent distributor of love. They walk through life making decisions based on select pieces of His truth that they can conveniently wedge into their lives as to not disrupt the fulfilling of their primal desires. They play Russian roulette as they stick themselves into situations that they have not protected themselves from. They do not practice safe interactions with temptation and they have no desire to practice abstinence from the things in their life that strip them and the ones that they love of their actual purpose in life.

The conversation for them should sound very similar to the one I just had with my son…

Please scroll back up and read in-between the (lines)—– —–(lines). I’ll meet you back here in a minute.


You see, just like children, it is our responsibility as adults to make good decisions or to try to find people that we can trust to help us make them; not just the choices that are appealing in the heat of the moment. And not knowing what your getting yourself into is not an excuse. Choosing to make decisions on partial information is a mistake that won’t always go away with a shot of penicillin.

After all…aren’t you in this for the long haul?…

…or are you just interested in fooling around?


(art was borrowed from this dude. i hope he is cool with it.)



5 Responses to bee careful you dont shoot a bird

  1. Jayleigh says:

    Awesome post! Two things: 1. I knew when my niece was really young that it was *I* who would have THE TALK with her. I just had a gut feeling. We talked about EVERYTHING. And about how God fits into her life, too. It was amazing and scary and I’m glad I had the guts to do it. 2. My hubby and I will be licensed as of the beginning of July to be foster parents. I’m sure they will give us at least one teen. And I’m so sure hubby and I will have to give The Talk again in our lives. It’s not exactly fun, but it sure makes you feel like you’re doing your job as a parent when you follow through.

    Good for you!

  2. Sarah Keller says:

    Great stuff Charlie…good that people like you are going through it about 6 years ahead of us…I’ll have Matt call you when it’s time for his talk! Tell Fran I said hello…love you guys¡ Sarah :)

  3. Alasdair says:

    Nice post Charlie (as usual).


    My hubby and I will be licensed as of the beginning of July to be foster parents

    Good for you. Much respect and good luck ;)

  4. blessedleria says:

    Thanks for the words of encouragement. Also, your post made me think. I never had the talk with my parents, but have learned a lot through experience. When my daugther gets to that age, when ever that is, I plan to be open and truthful with her, and let her know she can trust me. God bless you.

  5. Chantal says:

    I like how you roll.

    Peace to you & yours, Charlie

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