i love my wife…despite her fruit

I can think of a few things about my wife that I could definitely do without.

Although I am not bold enough to actually list them, I know that there IS a list (however tiny it may be) of idiosyncrasies and peculiarities that come at some of the most unexpected and sometimes unwelcomed times. I would go as far as to say that my wife’s behavior has occasionally changed the taste in my mouth so bad that my jaw hurt and I couldn’t decide whether to spit, swallow, or throw up in my mouth a bit.

Sometimes I have patience for these isolated incidents, and other times I don’t. Sometimes I keep my thoughts to myself, and sometimes I can’t. Sometimes I keep my opinions locked up in my “keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you” safe, and other times my “possibility for action” dimmer switch shorts out and catches fire.

Ok, by a show of hands:”How many women out there think I don’t love my wife, completely and without reservation or judgment?”

And now the guys:”Do I still love her, or am I counting the days until I can escape a prison of pain and suffering before I gouge my eyes out with a swimming noodle?”

The answer, although harder to see at times, is that my wife is my EVERYTHING. She is my muse and my every breath. She is more than I ever considered myself worthy enough to share an existence with. My wife is my Sun and I am merely some gassy mass that is lucky enough to be trapped in her gravitational pull. She is my reason for reasoning. She is my PASSION.

Allow me to illustrate.

My wife has a some things in life that she is passionate about. A few on the list include God, me, her children, and chocolate cake. Now, I will not dare put them in order for you, but let’s just say that I once saw her knock over both of our children and throw her Bible at  my knee caps  just to insure that she could be the first one to get to a Chocolate Tower Truffle Cake from the Cheesecake Factory.

The most impressive thing about her love for chocolate is the great lengths that she will go to just to experience its wonderment.

You must also know that my wife absolutely despises fruit fillings, toppings, and/or whipped creams. It seems that she is very specific about her pleasures and desires, and if she can help it, she will be sure to order her forkfuls of pleasure without any meddlesome additions. The disappointment on her face is unexplainable if she is presented with a mound of brown delight and it is not exactly the way she prefers it to be prepared. She goes through a slight whirlwind of emotions and you can cut the tension in the room with a knife as she struggles with her dilemma.

And then she eats the cake.

The only noticeable difference is that (with the precision of Tiger Woods knee surgeon) she is able to remove every crumb of chocolate off of her plate without disturbing any of the unwanted extras. The bed of fruit sauce lies untouched on the plate and the whipped cream is still levitating in thin air over the area that was once filled with 7 layers of joy due to the speed in which it was removed from existence. It’s GONE, and by the look on her face, just in the nick of time.

Well, this is my point exactly.

We are all imperfect. We all have parts of us that are less desirable than others. The question is whether or not the imperfections are road blocks or speed bumps to get to the chocolate epicenter of our relationships. I understand that there are way too many actions and statements that can be classified as “not condonable”, like abuse or infidelity, but I am talking about the little things that should be overlooked regardless of our moods or whether or not there is something in it for us to put up with. I bet, at first glance, it seems like it is not worth all of the extra effort and I am sure that we can all agree that there are things about each other that we can do without…but how bad do you want it?

I am willing to enjoy her even if it means that it comes with a few sides that I could live without. I know that she feels the same way about me, but it’s one of those subjects that are not easily brought up because we only think about it when we have less patience for it. Just remember that she gives you the same consideration (probably tenfold) and, thank God, He doesn’t make men entirely from chocolate.

I want my wife to know that I love her, despite her fruit…so I tell her… because it’s the truth and that’s what she deserves.